What is support?
Support is being there, even when not needed, or wanted. Most times, we tend to give ‘space’ to your partner because you think that is the best they need forgetting that you just being there, even though you are not doing anything significant is in itself being supportive.
The dictionary defines it as ‘to sustain or withstand’ or ‘serve as a foundation for.’ Being that one person your partner can lean onto or depend on whenever things are not looking good needs you to work on your end to be that kind of person. It means a lot more than just knowing someone loves you and is willing to be with you for long.
Why do we need support in relationships?
Before being a spouse/boyfriend/husband or anything related to that, having a strong friendly relationship to fall back on is the most important thing. Many couples believe that falling in love and staying in love is all that matters but sometimes, love alone does not matter in a relationship. Supporting your partner will cement the relationship such that your partner can easily turn to you in time of need something that strengthens the relationship.
It makes it easier to open up to a person you know understands you and supports you. Some relationships are under strain because of a third party. This is when your partner decides you are not good enough to talk to and goes to confide in someone else all that concerns your troubles. A third party in relationships is doom, learn to support your partner in whatever thing he/she does.
Being supportive strengthens a relationship and builds on the love that you already have for each other. With support comes trust, there is no way you can decide to relay on someone yet you do not trust that person. When you are supportive, your partner will trust you enough to reveal things to you which gives you the previledge of always being the first to know.
It is good because in a way, it builds your interpersonal relationships with other people. Once you are supportive of your partner, you learn to listen, not just using ears but also using your heart and all other senses that you have.
How do you support your partner?
By listening to what he/she has to say. Listening is something that has to be learned. Some people can not sit still for more than 30 minutes talking about the same thing and this may be hard, especially if your partner is the kind of person to talk a lot. You have to learn to listen and be interested. You have to make sure you listen to hints, to watch body language and this way, you will learn a whole lot more about your partner that you may think imaginable.
Create time for your partner at all times. Many couples, especially the middle aged ones (between 23-27) are busy building their careers and a future for each other. What they forget is the fact that in the first place, you started building that future because you have some one who has the potential of sharing it with you. So, no matter what, make time for your partner, even when you are busy. Throwing away your books when he/she wants to talk to you shows you are willing to do things for your partner, even when you are busy, you always have time for her/him.
Be there as much as you can, keep your memory alive in her/his mind when in trouble. Some people, especially men do not know how to be there for their partners. There is always a problem popping up whenever you have to be there for your partner. Whenever she/he is going through something, make it a point that she/he remembers you are there. Call every time if you can not be there at that time, if you are around, go there and stay there.
Being there entails you to stay with your partner even when you are chased away. To hold her/his hand when crying, to just keep quiet when something is running through your mind. It is hard because sometimes, you can not be there at the time needed but when you can not, make it a point she/he gets irritated with the much care you are showing.
Care for your partner and show that much in each and everything that you do. One of the things that makes children scared of their parents is the fact that parents do not want to confide truths with their children, they lie to them and make them feel alone. However, when you show that you care enough and also confide some things, it will make it easier for your partner to trust in you and in the end allow you to support him/her.
Support in relationships needs each of you to know that pride is an inborn thing in every individual, even thieves have it. Damaging that pride is what will cause your partner not trust in you again. Support entails you to know that pride exists but before that, love did and that is all that is required of you, to love your partner and support her/him, even when you have problems weighing on your mind.